I believe

I believe in Peanut butter. Smooth, creamy, almost with a life of its own. Unflowy, peanuty and buttery. It hath the besteth flavour of all things. But most of all it is its versatility what makes it so special.
First, peanut butter as a gastronomic delicacy. Eating peanut butter straight from the jar or the perfectly packed plastic pouches packaged in the province of Pennsylvania by Pennsylvanian people feels so good, it must be sinful. Then you have bread; white, rye, whole wheat, any bread. Peanut butter sandwiches rock, man. Add some jelly or bananas to your sandwich to give it a more exotic taste. Still, the heavenly sensation in your palate will be caused by the peanut butter. Leaving bread aside we have vegetables, specifically, celery. The good old, low-cal, chlorophyll flavored, green and crunchy celery stick. Did you know that it takes more calories to eat a stick of celery than the calories the celery stick has to begin with? Solve this problem by adding peanut butter to it. Cucumbers are a good option too. There is a world of vegetables out there, experiment, go wild. Peanut butter can’t go wrong.
Second, peanut butter saving your daily life. You may not think this is true, but it is. When you were running late for school and you had no lunch ready you saw bread and peanut butter…bam! 30 seconds later you have a PB sandwich ready to go. When a gum got stuck in your hair for God knows what reason, peanut butter to the rescue. When the Plastic Pouch Packaging Plant positioned in Pennsylvania owned by the Pennsylvanian people needed something to package in plastic pouches, again, there was peanut butter. Call this a coincidence, do you? Well, it is; but still, do not underestimate the power of peanut butter.
Third, peanut butter in the world of comedy. Believe it or not, peanut butter is pretty damn funny. One day you are walking innocently down the street, going to your gentlemen club weekly meeting, when some stranger walks past you and as he does he says “peanut butter…” If you don’t laugh within the 5 minutes following the event I am sorry to tell you that you are dead inside and you are staring to stink. You could also just include the words Peanut butter in your speeches every three sentences. Say it whenever it seems you are at the verge of an important discovery together with scientific and Latin terms, ergo causing a combustion within the subject’s body which will build up and emerge as an explosive vocal sound commonly called laughter. This is a reaction known as peanutis butterus effectus, concordantly. Your sentences don’t have to make much sense.
It is curious, or in this case funny, how a substance as common and insignificant as peanut butter can affect our lives. It has the power to change our food’s flavor or change our mood; it can even kill us if we are allergic to peanuts. Such small things we have in our every day life that we rarely consider relevant may have more in them than we attribute them. Some call it the butterfly effect. One day you share your peanut butter sandwich with a fellow student in school, another day, when that student became a tyrannical leader he spares your life because you shared your peanut butter sandwich with him. That is why I believe in Peanut butter and you should too. If you don’t believe in it go to your kitchen or to the supermarket, you will find out it exists. In the beginning, when everything else had already been created, but the Creation still needed that something to make it perfect, He said: “Let there be Peanut Butter.”